Previous.

Jaina couldn't stay around her parents for very long. It was too much, especially with Leia clinging to the hope of Jacen somehow being alive and Han looking broken and Jaina just couldn't deal with it. She excused herself and found someplace to clean up a bit, then set off for the Palace.

They'd been expecting her. Tenel Ka's grandmother, Ta'a Chume, the former Queen Mother of Hapes, had made contact while they were aboard the Trickster and been very welcoming. Jaina had only met her once, four years ago when Lowbacca and the twins set off to see Tenel Ka after she'd lost her arm. They'd been there in time to save Ta Chume from an assassination attempt, which apparently made Jaina memorable to her. The servants left her alone when asked, and she holed up in a private garden for who knew how long, trying very hard not to think without anything else to distract her.

It wasn't till Ta'a Chume herself arrived that Jaina paid anyone much attention. She stood and bowed almost automatically, aware of how to behave in the presence of royalty, but Ta'a Chume waved away the formalities. She took a seat on the bench, removing the veil that concealed her face in public, and gestured for Jaina to sit with her. "It is good to see you alive and well, Jaina. I heard about your brothers."

It must have shown on her face that she was not looking forward to more of the same 'I'm sorry's, because Ta'a Chume continued, "I take it you've had your fill of platitudes and exhortations?"

"You might say that," Jaina replied.

"Then let's get to the heart of the matter. Your brothers are dead, and those responsible still live. The only reasonable question is, what are you going to do about it?"

That was very much still up in the air. It didn't feel as if the mission was over. It had just kept mutating as they went along, and with Jacen dead, there was no clear purpose anymore. "That's the question, all right."

Ta'a Chume patted her shoulder. "You will find your way to the answer soon, of that I am certain. And tonight will be an excellent time to start. There will be a diplomatic dinner at the Palace, and you would do well to attend. Now, then, I suggest we find you a suitable gown and gems. And perhaps a hair stylist."

"I'm a pilot," Jaina said, not bothered by the criticisms, especially after what she'd been through the last few days. "Appearances aren't important to what I do."

"That's quite apparent," Ta'a Chume said, though she took a moment to eye her speculatively. She would not have been able to handle Jaina when she'd been bald. "Tell me, do you wish to avenge your brothers?"

The answer was almost automatic, but when she said the words, Jaina realized how true they were. "I wouldn't have put it quite that way, but yes, I suppose I do."

The former queen spoke for several moments, but Jaina was a bit lost in the thought she'd just had. Zekk had called her on the vengeance thing, too. He'd also called her on maybe sliding a little dark. This didn't help matters there. But it was true. She wanted the Vong dead. She wanted them defeated. She wanted Anakin and Jacen's deaths to mean something. She wanted them to pay for what they did.

When she finally came back to the present, Ta' a Chume was saying, "In order to achieve this, you will need to win support from the Hapan military. Beauty is a tool to be used, just like intelligence or talent or power or even this Force of yours. Don't disdain it."

"It's more important on Hapes than most places. More common, too," Jaina pointed out. Though really, she was the girl who came to the Palace in her jumpsuit from Myrkr and feeling like she'd never be clean again. "No matter what I do, I'd fall short of your world's standards."

"Nonsense, on all counts. I suspect that you possess many resources you have not yet considered."

Jaina wasn't stupid. "You want something from me," she said. "Forgive me, but I'm running short on time and illusions."

Ta'a Chume smiled at that. "All I ask is that you keep your mind open to all possibilities. These are strange times, and you may find yourself in a position to accomplish things you never dreamed possible. Now, about that gown."

*****

The only reason Jaina tolerated things like the dances in Fandom was John. Since he wasn't here, she was trying to think of this all as a nice distraction, which would have been great if she weren't cinched into a too-tight, too-low-cut dress not of her choosing. Don't get her started on the shoes. Sitting across from her, Jag caught her tugging at some of the laces and got an explanation of, "I'd be happier in a flight suit."

She was jealous that he got to wear a dress uniform, really. Jag was the son of an Imperial baron, though as always he was clearly representing the Chiss military, so she knew why he'd been invited. She didn't think much of why he'd been seated near her. She assumed Ta'a Chume was trying to give her at least something familiar, since Tenel Ka had her own duties to fulfill during this thing. Besides, Tenel Ka had been upset with her since Myrkr, and Jaina didn't wish to deal with anyone's bad attitude but her own.

"No doubt, but you look lovely all the same," Jag assured her.

Jaina did feel a little guilty that she blushed at that. Not many people complimented her for reasons other than that they were expected to, and she knew Jag wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it. She didn't acknowledge it, instead turning to watch the evening's first dance, starting with Tenel Ka and her father, Prince Isolder.

"I wonder what might happen to a man who stepped on her toes," Jag mused.

It truly surprised her to realize that he was joking. She'd known him since she joined up with the Rogues, and wasn't sure she'd seen him crack a smile in all the time she'd worked with him. "Their heads are mounted on the trophy room wall," she said seriously, just to see the reaction.

That really was a smile there. He should do that more.

When the rest of the guests began filing onto the dance floor, Jaina wasn't so sure she wanted to be here anymore. She really wasn't interesting in seeing if some Ta'a Chume-selected suitor asking her to dance would feel like cheating when she already hadn't at least called. Instead, on impulse, she said, "They've created a diversion. We could probably sneak out and look for those trophies."

He rose and gave her a formal bow. "May I have the honor of shared evasive maneuvers?"

She had to admit, seeing this side of him made her like him more. Smiling, she took his offered hand and followed him through the crowd. This was definitely the best her mood had been in what felt like forever. She'd like to keep that up for a little while.

They'd barely escaped the ballroom when they were caught by Ta'a Chume, gliding down the hall towards them. "Jaina. I'd hoped to have the opportunity to speak with you."

And that was that. She was disappointed to see Jag resume his usual somber visage, bow to the former queen, and excuse himself with a nod to Jaina. Now it was back to business for her. Ta'a Chume led her into a small receiving room, asking, "Enjoying yourself?"

"I think I was about to."

While it was meant innocently, Ta'a Chume actually seemed to consider this. "Teneniel Djo should have led the dancing, but she did not attend. Do you know why?"

She'd sort of had other things on her mind. "No."

"Her health did not permit," she said. "She was expecting a second child, an heir to the throne of Hapes, or at the very least a son who might find a suitable wife. Then came the attack on Fondor and the destruction of the Hapan fleet. Teneniel Djo is not precisely a Jedi, but she is what I believe you call Force sensitive."

Jaina couldn't figure out why she was getting this sort of information about the queen, Tenel Ka's mother, but she was learning that Ta'a Chume always had a reason for her tangents. She just had to sit and follow them through till it made sense. "That's right."

"She felt the destruction of the fleet, the deaths of our pilots. The shock was more than she could bear. The child was born too soon, and born dead. Teneniel Djo has never fully recovered."

Ta'a Chume's tone put Jaina on the defensive, and she doubted it was just because she was a little sensitive to mothers who'd lost children right now. "It's possible to feel actual pain through the Force, and to experience strong emotions. One of the things a Jedi learns to do is guard against constant bombardment. Teneniel Djo's sensitivity was stronger than hr shields. That doesn't make her weak."

"Be that as it may, I am not interested in philosophy, but governance. My son's wife is not able to attend a diplomatic dinner, much less lead the entire Consortium into war. Isolder is no fool, nor does he shirk his duty. It's time for him to find a new wife, someone capable of ruling in a time of war."

Jaina had no problem letting Ta'a Chume play teacher for her, really, but she did need this reminder of who she was dealing with. This was a woman who was suspected of having Isolder's older brother killed for being unworthy to rule. "I'm not sure why you're telling me this," she said warily.

"You're in a position to understand such complexities. Your mother was a ruler for many years. A queen, of sorts. Tell me, what came first in your family?"

"She walked a better balance than most." Even with Jaina's issues regarding Leia's priorities, hell if she wouldn't defend her to an outsider. "My father doesn't complain. Much."

"A very pragmatic response. I see you don't subscribe to the myths surrounding marriage. It's not at all what the poets try to make of it, but rather a pragmatic, mutually beneficial alliance, one that is entered into when expedient, and abandoned when it is of no further value."

Wow. She could have a talk show. Jaina could have argued that easily, but she thought she was finally getting a feel for what this was all about. She had no intention of seeing her family broken up any more than it already was. "You're considering my mother for Teneniel Djo's job, and you want me to act as intermediary. With all due respect, Your Majesty, you might as well jettison that idea with the rest of the trash."

Ta'a Chume was genuinely surprised by that response. "Are you always so direct?"

"It saves time," said Jaina with a shrug.

She was happy to finally leave, not at all comfortable with that conversation- and she thought it may have ended with Ta'a Chume implying that Jaina was a huge virgin, which... not so much- and headed back to the ball in search of Jag. She didn't see him, couldn't sense him, and before she had the chance to debate just returning to her room and calling it a night, Kyp was there, shutting the ballroom door on her.

He was dressed in his Jedi robes, and by his sense, didn't seem too pleased to see her. Good. She didn't want to see him, either. "Kyp," Jaina greeted him, lifting her chin. "I suppose you left dozens of mind-controlled servants and guards behind you. That's your usual style, isn't it? Not to mention the only way to explain your presence here."

"Getting out will be easier," he said. "You'll be with me."

"I don't think so."

"Think again," Kyp told her. "I'm here to take you to your brother's funeral."

For a moment she could only stare at him, stunned. Gone were all the distractions and political intrigue, leaving her with only the reality that Anakin and Jacen were dead, and it was time to lay one to rest. The other would never get to have that. She shoved all those feelings aside, concentrating on the anger she was getting so comfortable with. "You're going to 'take me'? You and what Sith lord?"

"Don't challenge me, Jaina."

"Give me one good reason."

He looked her over almost appreciatively, and said, "You couldn't channel the Force wearing that dress. There isn't enough room in there for it to squeeze through."

She turned red, and resisted the urge to fold her arms over her chest on principle, though that probably saved her from emphasizing certain things she didn't want him noticing. The thing was, though, she couldn't not go now. Besides, he'd touched on a true point, which was that her lightsaber was in her room, where she couldn't use it to get him to leave her alone. "I'll change," she said.

He shrugged the bag off his shoulder and tossed it to her. "In there," he said, nodding towards the sitting room she had just left.

Jaina was beyond angry, but went into the room, whirling around when she heard the door shut. "Oh, you'll definitely want to rethink that decision," she said, seeing that Kyp didn't seem that intent on leaving.

He nodded towards the painted screen, and Jaina took the bag behind it. It was filled with clothes more befitting a Jedi funeral, robes and a lightsaber. Her lightsaber, which was proven when she switched it on and saw the blade's color. "You were into my room," she accused.

"That's not a capital offense. Turn off the lightsaber before the temptation to dispense justice overwhelms you."

It was like people didn't trust her all of a sudden. But she switched off the weapon, taking far too much time trying to get the gown off in order to change into the much more comfortable robes, and finally stepped out. "Let's get this over with."

Kyp brought them to a spot just outside the refugee center, well away from the Palace in which Jaina was staying. Her parents were there, and Luke, along with the rest of the strike team including Tenel Ka and-surprisingly- Jag Fel, who'd also been called from the banquet. And in the center of all of them was what was left of Anakin, and that took Jaina's full attention.

She suffered through the funeral, but it wasn't until Luke lit the bier that Jaina really felt anything. She didn't want to watch her brother burn away to nothing, but she did, for whatever reason. And as she found herself blinking away tears, her shields crept up even higher around her emotions. She didn't want to share that with anyone. She didn't even want to feel it herself.

When it was over, Zekk started toward her, and there weren't words for how much Jaina didn't want consolations right now. She'd break and she'd never fit back together. Apparently sensing this, Kyp stepped into Zekk's path to keep him from her. She was almost grateful. Almost. "We're returning to Eclipse tomorrow morning with Master Skywalker," Zekk said, addressing her anyway.

"So this is goodbye," said Jaina.

He blinked in surprise. "You're not coming?"

"Not for a while." And she had no idea why she said it, except Zekk wanted an explanation and fine, she'd give him one. "Kyp's asked me to be his apprentice. I'm thinking about maybe taking it for a test flight."

This only seemed to confirm everything Zekk had been thinking about her since Myrkr. "Then you're right- this is goodbye."

As he stalked off, Jaina smiled wryly. "Well, that was rude."

"Get used to it," said Kyp. "Once word of this little evasion gets around- and that should take about fifteen nanoseconds- you'll find that rogue Jedi live in a world of temperate extremes. Things are either very hot, or very cold."

Sure enough, when Jaina glanced back at the other Jedi, they were staring. "Evasion?" she said. "Are you so sure I wasn't serious?"

"No, I'm not, but then, neither are you. When you make up your mind, let me know."

*****

Jaina hadn't made a very good impression with her announcement, not that she'd expected to. She had felt badly that Luke looked hurt by it, and she knew Mara would kill her when word got back, but she had to stay here, and Kyp was as good an excuse as any. Only Lowie stayed with her, which should not have been surprise. He'd always been loyal to her, even if that wasn't always the best thing for him.

When she had spare time, she spent it working on the Trickster with his help. She still didn't get Yuuzhan Vong technology, but there was a part of her that deeply needed to put her energies into working on the ship, and finding out exactly how it worked. She needed something that took her attentions away from the darker things she'd been thinking and feeling, something else to focus on. Even if that something occasionally ended up splattering her with goo.

She and Lowie had taken turns cleaning up after figuring out that a shower on a Vong ship was different than the ones they knew of, and so when Leia came by, Jaina was nice and clean and fiddling with the ship with Lowbacca nearby. She almost hadn't expected Leia to smile when she saw her. "A familiar sight. You tinkering with a ship."

"Nothing works the way it should," Jaina complained. "No wires, no circuitry, no cables. What's on your mind?"

"That was a rather abrupt change of topic," Leia said.

Yeah, well, everyone kept bugging her today. "Mom, just spill it."

"All right," her mother said slowly. "Prince Isolder came to see me He's heard of the Yuuzhan Vong obsession with twins, the sacrifice." Jaina nodded, and let her go on. "He believes that the Vong will transfer their issues with Jacen onto you. And that perhaps aligning yourself with a Yuuzhan Vong goddess may only spur them along."

"The Yuuzhan Vong are trying to round up all the Jedi," Jaina shrugged. "My situation here hasn't gotten much worse than it was. Frankly, I'm more worried about you."

"Me?" It took Leia a second for it to register. "I see. You must have heard about my initial reaction to Anakin's death. I felt him go, and something in me shattered. Without your father, I might not have found my way back. He has been a rock."

Jaina had heard about her reaction, all right. And while she couldn't fault anyone an extreme reaction to the death of a child, it deeply worried her to hear about it happening to a woman who had always been the epitome of grace under pressure, who still hung to the misguided belief that Jacen was alive. It would crush her when it finally sank in. "Like you were for him when Chewbacca died. It sounds like the two of you are even."

Leia smiled faintly. "Depends on who's counting. Let's get back to you ."

"Not exactly the usual graceful segue, Mom."

"You want blunt? Then how about this," Leia said. "I can't feel you through the Force. I can sense when you're nearby, but not much more."

Jaina sighed. There really was no getting around the explanation, and she didn't care to. "Don't take it personally. I'm shielding. A lot of things have happened recently that I wouldn't share with anyone I liked, and half the people I despise."

"That's a lot to carry alone," she said, clearly inviting her to talk. Jaina didn't bite. "I'm sure John would like to see you."

Jaina wasn't so sure about that. "I have things to do here."

"It's not exactly the first time he's been out here."

"Mom." It wasn't that Jaina didn't want to see him. It was that Hi, welcome back, I can't go with you, now go home before I probably find a way to die violently wouldn't go over well. The selfless thing would be to make the call, just end things, but there was not a single part of her that wanted to do that. Not on top of everything else. She knew she couldn't handle it.

Leia stopped, and nodded. "So. Tell me about this ship."

She could fly a ship, sure, but she had no interest in them. So it was to her credit that she listened to Jaina go on about Vong technology and her plan to use each ship's gravitic signature against them without her eyes glazing over. She wasn't happy about the plan, but Han and Leia had never been big on making their children's decisions for them. She never brought up Kyp, didn't try to get Jaina to leave the palace for the refugee camp, and Jaina loved her for that.

Once Leia had gone, though, it wasn't long before she had yet another visit at the open hatch of the ship, this time a repeat caller. Jaina had been covered in goo when Jag showed up, asking her to fly under him with Vanguard Squadron, and she'd turned him down by starting an argument. "I came for an apology," he greeted her.

Jaina folded her arms. "Fine, but make it quick. I'm busy."

"Actually, I came prepared to listen."

That probably shouldn't have surprised her. "Then I hope your schedule's wide open, because you're going ot be standing there for a very long time. I didn't do anything wrong."

"You deliberately tried to provoke an argument."

"Yeah. So?"

Jag stared at her, apparently not sure what to do about her. She liked that. "How did an Alderaanian princess end up with such a daughter?"

"Do you want the short answer, or do you need someone to explain the details to you with charts and diagrams?"

He went a little pink at that. "That's not what I meant, as I'm sure you know."

Jaina liked poking at John. John would poke back. It was like a game. Jaina liked poking at Jag because he wasn't the poking type. He didn't know what to make of her, or how to react. She liked being able to mess with him for her own amusement. She didn't have a lot of that right now, she'd take what she could get, even at his expense. And using some of that confusion she felt from him, she decided to play some more, building on that feeling and sending it right back at him. "Why are you here, Jag?"

Though the confusion was visible for one very satisfying second, he recovered quickly. "Tenel Ka told me that you will be training with Kyp Durron. Since he flies under my command, may I assume that you'll be joining the Vanguard Squadron?"

"Tenel Ka was misinformed," Jaina lied. Sort of. She wasn't sure. "So are you, if you think Kyp does anything for anyone unless it suits him."

Jag watched her carefully. "Assuming you're right, I get the impression that Kyp is not the only one playing some sort of game."

"And winning," Jaina grinned.

"Since that perception gives you such apparent satisfaction, I hope the rules of engagement can be modified for solitaire."

She was still smiling as she watched him walk away, which prompted Lowbacca's question as he stepped up beside her. "I don't have anything against Jag Fel," she answered. "He can be a lot of fun, whether he means to be or not."

[Blah blah blah. Dialogue taken from Dark Journey by Elaine Cunningham, and yes I included a scene specifically because it has my favorite Jaina quote ever in it. Sue me.]