solo_sword | RAF Mildenhall, UK- Saturday Fandom time

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RAF Mildenhall, UK- Saturday Fandom time

To say that things were complicated right now was to put it lightly. John's time still moved at the rate of one month per Fandom day, which meant Jaina was back to living on two timelines in order to make things work. Every day now she was taking a portal back there from Fandom, spend however long with him, and then return to the same day that she'd left. Would it drive her crazy eventually? Uh huh. But she definitely thought it was worth a little bit of what sanity she had left, and surprisingly, she was really enjoying figuring things out. How often did you get to remind yourself from the beginning why you fell in love with someone?

And since, no, seriously, the base was in the middle of nowhere, England, this left really only two options of entertainment: talking, or something that really had nothing to do with talking at all. So while cleaning up after dinner, Jaina decided which of those options she was going for tonight. "Can I ask a question?"

[For that guy from that thing.]

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Uh oh. John knew pretty well where questions tended to go. "You just did," he pointed out smartly. "But I'm guessing there's something on your mind?"

"A little bit." And if she was being honest, it'd been on her mind for months, but there were certain things she didn't want to ask him immediately after the divorce went through. "Why Nancy?" she wondered, putting dishes in the sink in order to try for casual.

Okay, not the question he'd expected. "Why Nancy what?" John repeated, a little confusedly.

"Well, when we broke up you didn't seem to know why you'd ever marry her, and..." Well, he had, and now she was here. "I'm curious how that happened."

Really, really not John's idea of after dinner conversation. He tugged open the fridge and found a bottle of crappy foreign beer. "Well, for starters, I saw her at Dave's wedding." He opened his drink and leaned against the counter.

"Yeah, you sent me that picture," she remembered. She'd wondered about that at the time, too.

"Yeah, and we got along, you know? Might even remember from when we saw her at Stanford, but she really grew up," he said. John didn't really feel like sharing that they'd hooked up at Dave's wedding, but he thought he'd just let her reaction tell him how to go with the tale.

"I think I missed the grown up thing in all our mutual hatred," she pointed out. She was just listening. She knew there were things she was bound to not want to hear, but she was getting really sick of comparing herself to Nancy. Better to just get it over with so she could stop.

"You're allowed to hate her," he shrugged. "Just like she's allowed to hate me. But when she showed up in Okinawa for work, it was kind of easy to hang out together on off hours. It'd be like if you'd stayed home and whatshisname was there. You'd be single friends goin' for dinner, drinks, a game of cards. Stuff just happens."

The difference there was that Jaina knew that if she'd stayed there and whatshisface was there, they wouldn't have stayed just friends forever. "And you really didn't think it was going to happen?"

"Nope," he said, taking another swig on his bottle. He'd never pictured himself marrying anyone but her up until it happened.

Jaina leaned against the counter, figuring maybe she should provide a bit of explanation. "I really wondered for a while whether she wasn't the one you were really supposed to be with, and I was just a distraction." And maybe part of her still wondered that.

Okay, see, that was kind of funny. John smirked, looking behind him and then leaning forward trying to see into the other room. "So, who's here with me now?"

"I could just be a rebound," she stated completely seriously, and maybe she did have some serious issues at the moment. "She's the one you married. Maybe I just have good timing."

John blinked, face going incredulous. "Okay, let me get this straight. You think my feelings for you are a rebound. So, that whole thing where I saw you while I was married and realized I'd never fallen out of love with you was all about timing?"

Besides all that, Dave had been the one who thought John's marriage was an extended rebound from Jaina, which was why he was so pissed at John now that Dave was left to clean up the family mess John had made by going there.

"That's not what I'm trying to say," jaina said, biting her lip as she tried to figure out how to phrase this. "When I called that day, I honestly thought I'd leave a voicemail and never hear from you again because we couldn't be just friends, and I'd accepted that. It's been like I've been zig zagging from one extreme of emotions to another in a really short span of time, and I want to be here. I love what we're doing right now. But at the same time, I only know bits and pieces of what happened, and it was big changes in like no time at all for me. So I'm actually doubting myself here, and comparing myself to the woman you married and wondering if I measure up. Which I know is ridiculous because I've met her."

"Jaina," he sighed, setting his drink by the sink and moving to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Tell me what I can do to get you to believe that you're the only woman I want."

The fact that he still hadn't outright said "I love you" was kind of getting to her, but she'd meant what she'd said and knew he'd say it when he was ready. And she wasn't nearly needy enough to have to ask for confirmation that she was better than someone he'd divorced. "I don't know," she sighed. "I'm just trying to understand here, because I know this is all stuff I'm doing to myself."

John had a strange thought and wondered if this wasn't his fault in a way. "Is this because she left me?"

"No," she said immediately, shaking her head. "It's because I'm wondering what she had that I didn't."

John figured Jaina didn't mean fake boobs, even if it was true. "She was there," he said like it was an apology.

Clearly, she hadn't been expecting that answer. "That's it?"

She obviously had an idea of what she wanted to hear. "What did you think the answer would be?"

~~Fake boobs.~~ "Qualities she has that I don't. Maybe she's- somehow- less of a bitch, or better in bed, or there's less drama you'd want to put up with forever."

"You remember Nancy, right?" John replied, raising an eyebrow. "I think dramatic and bitchy go hand in glove there. And I'm not touching the bed thing with a ten foot pole."

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