"That's not what I'm trying to say," jaina said, biting her lip as she tried to figure out how to phrase this. "When I called that day, I honestly thought I'd leave a voicemail and never hear from you again because we couldn't be just friends, and I'd accepted that. It's been like I've been zig zagging from one extreme of emotions to another in a really short span of time, and I want to be here. I love what we're doing right now. But at the same time, I only know bits and pieces of what happened, and it was big changes in like no time at all for me. So I'm actually doubting myself here, and comparing myself to the woman you married and wondering if I measure up. Which I know is ridiculous because I've met her."